Who Moved My Glasses?

My reading glasses have gone, disappeared into thin air, vanished, right in front of my eyes. I put them down on the coffee table, went to the bathroom, came back and the glasses had taken off, apparently under their own steam. There are only 2 people living in this apartment and my wife swears she never took them. Yesterday she had yelled at me for continually losing my glasses. “Keep them on a chain around you neck like everyone else!” What will she say now?

This whole episode was ridiculous! It was a normal day, late wake-up, minimal breakfast, back-breaking exercises to make sure my back remains broken, coffee in the lounge and finally lunch in the apartment. Then the challenge of the day – the New York Times crossword which I do in a horizontal position in order to reduce all unnecessary pressure and keep my brain free for the struggle. Of course I have to have my reading glasses on so that the clues are at least legible even though they remain fuzzy in my mind. I found my spare pair and went back to the crossword. The days passed and I now manage on one pair of glasses and keep wondering if I really need a spare.

Apparently I’m not the only victim in this retirement home. As soon as I started asking other residents if they had seen my glasses, I began hearing horrifying stories of how others lost theirs. “How can I find my glasses if I haven’t got them on to look for them?” But the glasses are gone, together at last with all the lost keys, wallets and handbags in the deep hole under the floor of this building. And there they will stay.

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