A Senior’s Trip to the Supermarket

Years ago when I was much younger I jumped into a taxicab and found myself with a “senior” driver who didn’t stop complaining about his age. I was fascinated at the guy’s observations on advanced age. “When I was young,” he said, “I couldn’t afford to eat in expensive restaurants or buy food in these fancy deli stores. Now, after years and years of hard work I have money and I can afford to buy food anywhere. The problem is that none of the food I hankered for in the old days agrees with me, so I still can’t eat it.” I remember laughing at the man then.

But of course what he said was true. I went along with my wife on a supermarket trip the other day. As soon as we stepped inside we went off in different directions, she to buy sensible, healthy food suitable for our ages, me in search of the goodies I hanker for. The cheese counter, the bins of pickles and olives, the wine and liquor shelves, the nuts and dried fruits and then back to check on the olives again. I came home with a tub of olives sprinkled with red Mexican chili powder. That stuff can wreck a healthy digestive system in seconds. I love it but the tears that stream down my cheeks and the pain in my chest prove it doesn’t like me!

I hung around the butchery counter for a while eying the steaks, but in the end I backed off. I remembered that even in the good old days a piece of hard steak could bring on an attack of indigestion that lasted for days. In the end I got the indigestion in the check-out line when I saw the prices…

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