Wanted: Retirees. Fulltime Positions Only

A retiree’s work is never done

Retirement is a fulltime occupation. There are no holidays, no days off and no such thing as a sick day. It is a dedicated job covering 24 hours a day. Of those hours, 16 involve working flat out at being retired. The other 8 are devoted either to sleeping on the couch in front of the TV or trying desperately to fall asleep in bed. Most of the sleeping hours are devoted to short naps throughout the day.

The day-to-day business

I once overheard this conversation between 2 retirees: “So how’s it going? You keeping occupied? What did you do today?”

“I was at the bank today.”

“Got any arrangements for tomorrow?”

“I’m planning on going to the post office.”

“Wednesday?”

“Wednesday is my day for blood tests at the MOH.”

The food of retirees

And that’s roughly how the retiree’s week goes. Busy, busy, busy. Another major consumer of retiree time is food and eating. We enjoy hanging out in the supermarkets, tasting and checking the goods here and there. You’ll find us testing the cheese, grapes and olives for quality. We also enjoy seeking out exotic recipes, none of which will be good for us or suitable for our digestive systems. We love eating – slowly, that is.

Social responsibility

All retirees have a responsibility to the community. That’s why you’ll find us down at the lake feeding the ducks, helping little children and little old ladies cross the busy streets, keeping the park benches warm and heckling the parking ticket officers.

International level

We meet often during the course of our days at the local coffee shops and discuss the state of the world, remember how it used to be in the good old days and wondering what it will take to get it back on the rails.

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