Grandchildren – The Seniors’ Downfall

Do you suffer from grandchildren, the little ones who sneer at you as they text their friends while asking you how come you don’t have a smart-phone? For you seniors, that means a mobile telephone such as an iPhone, a Galaxy, a Blackberry or one of the many others on the market. Which operating system are you using? Android or something else? Wasn’t an Android the animal that came swinging out of the trees in that Tarzan movie we saw at the Century movie house 70 years ago?

Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night, sweating from a nightmare. I am running doesn’t a street that is 79.5 years long. On one side technology is passing me, jeering and howling as they go. On the other side are grandchildren, shrieking with laughter at the old man trying to keep up but falling further and further behind with each step.

It doesn’t help that you went to college or university in the 50s, or that you ran a successful business or practice in your profession for 40 years. You are now hopelessly out of date and unable to hold an intelligent conversation with your 8 year old grandson who can re-program your old steam-operated first generation phone in seconds.

“What’s wrong with your phone, Pop?”

“It’s dead!”
“Pass it here, Pop, I’ll fix it.”

A split second later the phone is back in your hands and working perfectly. “You really should upgrade, Pop. You will even be able to text grandma with an iPhone!”

I cannot explain to him that grandma wouldn’t know where to look for the message.

Remember how we impressed our parents by reciting the names of the cars as they came around the corner? Man, we were good, up to date with the latest models. That, fellow seniors, is nothing compared to what these kids can do today. True they can’t do any arithmetic without a calculator in their hands, but maybe that’s not important anymore.

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